


Trashy Naruto Headcanons

by cynicaljapanophile



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-01-07 03:05:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18401819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicaljapanophile/pseuds/cynicaljapanophile
Summary: Naruto headcanons that I write in my free time





	1. College AU P. I

**Naruto Uzumaki(20)**

  * Majoring in entrepreneurship
  * Lowkey failing all of his classes
  * Sasuke’s dormmate
  * Is just a mess
  * Is sleeping all the time yet he is always tired
  * Has a sports scholarship
  * Once showed up to class in his underwear(don’t ask why)
  * Lives on instant ramen and mountain dew
  * Visits his parents once a week
  * Is that kid whose parents send him stuff every week
  * He is stressed
  * Tried to stay up by drinking coffee but threw up



 

**Sasuke Uchiha(20)**

  * Majors in international business
  * Unfortunately naruto’s dormmate
  * Always seen drinking black coffee
  * Is never tired
  * Has some of the best grades
  * On the dean’s list
  * Never goes out
  * Never gets drunk
  * Works at the campus store
  * Only eats energy bars and drinks coffee and five hour energy
  * Has gone to seven parties in all his college experience



 

**Sakura** **Haruno** **(21)**

  * Nursing major
  * Is currently paying for her tuition with student loans
  * Shares a dorm with Hinata
  * Never looks bad
  * Actually gets good sleep
  * She also eats real food
  * Works part time as a waitress
  * Always gets top marks
  * Disses Ino when writing essays
  * Hangs out with Hinata, Ino, Tenten, and Temari most of the time
  * On the dean’s list
  * Visits her parents once a month




	2. MasterChef AU Headcanons P. I

**Kakashi Hatake(30)**

  * Specializes in basically everything 
  * Youngest person to receive three Michelin stars
  * Was once on the cover of a random teen magazine when he was 17
  * Extremely blunt and sometimes rude but because he smiles all the time people don’t really notice 
  * The Gordon Ramsay of Japan(minus the yelling)
  * Owns like 37 restaurants 
  * Has graced the cover of men's fitness multiple times
  * Will low(HIGH)key roast everyone to their face
  * Most well known of all the judges
  * Will straight up flirt with some of the female contestants
  * Known as the sexiest chef in the world 
  * Will call you out
  * Being the Gordon Ramsay of Japan he has the greatest insults and comebacks 
  * He also has 20 shows like Gordon Ramsay
  * Is a tired old man who is just 30



Social Media|

Twitter : @tired.kakashi

Followers : 10.3m

  * Does twitter roasts
  * Roasts contestants and guy
  * Follows a bunch of meme accounts, fan accounts, and Wendys



Instagram : @the.tired.old.man.known.as.kakashi

Followers : 17.7m

  * Posts pictures of food, videos of the MasterChef cast, selfies, ootd pics
  * Follows fan accounts, cooking accounts, and Eminem



 

**Kurenai Yuhi(31)**

  * Specializes in baking and is known for elaborate floral decorations
  * She recently received a Michelin star
  * The “neutral” chef
  * She isn’t mean but she isn’t nice either 
  * If you try to slip in an insult when she critiques your food she will call you out
  * Popular on social media as the cool chef/ judge
  * Works part time as a model
  * Has appeared on MasterChef Vietnam
  * Has been on the cover of women's health multiple times 
  * Has been on RuPaul's drag race 
  * Has been engaged for 7 years



Social Media|

Twitter : @kurenai.red

Followers : 4.2m

  * posts pictures of followers
  * retweets cute pictures and videos of animals 
  * follows anime accounts



Instagram : @red_yuhi

Followers : 12.4m

  * Posts selfies, ootd, seflies, pictures of food, and flowers
  * Follows Hinata, Kiba, and Shino



 

**Might Guy(30)**

  * doesn’t specialize in anything(is good at everything)
  * Though he has stated that he specializes in spicy food
  * Received his 3rd Michelin star 3 years ago
  * Has also graced the cover of men's fitness 
  * Has graced the cover of men's health 9 times
  * The “nice” chef
  * Owns like 7 gyms
  * Tends to yell a lot
  * Popular among contestants and fans
  * Most well liked judge
  * Arguably the most popular judge 
  * Considered a living, walking meme by fans 



Social Media|

Twitter : @mighty.gai 

Followers : 10.2m

  * Replys to fans 
  * Tweets about youth
  * Has a twitter beef with Kakashi



Instagram : @the.mightiest.guy

Followers : 15.3m

  * Posts workout videos
  * Always posts inspirational videos
  * Follows like 100 fan accounts



 


	3. MasterChef AU P. II

**Asuma Sarutobi(30)**

  * Specializes in seafood/ sushi
  * A two-star Michelin star chef
  * Own four restaurants
  * Roasts people to their face
  * He was the “chill” judge
  * Really only cared if the food was edible
  * Was a regular judge from season one to season four before leaving to focus on his own career
  * Fans call him Kurenai's fiancee
  * Who’s Asuma Sarutobi?
  * We only know Kurenai's fiancee
  * Changed his twitter handle to @kurenais_fiancee



**Social Media|**  
 **Twitter :** @kurenais_fiancee

  * Posts pictures of his cat
  * Likes tweets of people complimenting Kurenai
  * Follows Kurenai, Guy, Kakashi, and a few fan accounts



**Followers :** 4.3m

 **Instagram :**  @Asuma.sarutobi

  * Posts pictures of food, his cat, and Kurenai
  * Follows Kurenai, cat accounts, guy, and Kakashi



**Followers :** 5.4m

* * *

 

**Anko Mitarashi(26)**

  * Specializes in traditional Japanese sweets
  * Has appeared in every season of MasterChef at least once
  * Owns two restaurants(one in Toyonaka, Osaka and one in Tokyo)
  * Has appeared on the cover of women's health
  * Became popular off of MasterChef
  * 65% of her fanbase consists of girls
  * Will try to get into fights with contestants



**Social Media|**  
 **Twitter :** @anko.dango  
 **Followers :** 2.3m 

  * Pictures of food, retweets dank memes, and conspiracy theories
  * Follows Rihanna, Gordon Ramsay, and the MasterChef cast



**Instagram :** @mitarashi.anko  
 **Followers :** 12.2m

  * Posts videos of her roasting her friends, pictures of food, and pictures of her dog Kinako
  * Follows Beyonce, the MasterChef cast, and meme accounts



* * *

 

**Iruka Umino(24)**

  * Appeared in season 1 of MasterChef
  * Came in 2nd place
  * Was the “nice guy” during his time at mc
  * Lowkey talked behind people’s back
  * Not bad at any type of food
  * Specializes in traditional Japanese food
  * Won 70% of the challenges
  * Was terrible at “complicated dishes”
  * Would lowkey diss Mizuki
  * Entered the competition for his parents(who are still alive)
  * Used to get nervous during the pressure tests
  * Despite not winning he still got a book deal(”kitchen from Okinawa)
  * Was a fan favorite
  * Currently owns 3 restaurants
  * Rumors that he is going to receive a Michelin star have been going around
  * Judges food strictly but gives advice on how to improve
  * Has modeled for a popular fashion magazine
  * Worked at one of Asuma's restaurants when the season ended
  * Was team captain twice
  * Did youtube before going professional



 

 **Social Media|**  
 **Twitter :** @iruka_sensei

  * Will only roast naruto
  * Has an ongoing twitter beef with Mizuki
  * Congratulates fans when they tweet at him



**Followers :** 7.2m

 

 **Instagram :** @Iruka 

  * Posts selfies, food, and ootd
  * Follows 400 people
  * Posts rants about Mizuki



**Followers :** 9.3m

 

 **Youtube :** Iruka Umino

  * Vlogged his entire time on MasterChef
  * Posts cooking videos and vlogs



Subscribers : 11.2m

 


End file.
